Michelle Rozen - Divorce without Disaster - Family and Divorce Mediator in NY and NJ, separation and mediation

PARENTING COORDINATION- A GREAT IDEA

mrozen — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 16:08:54 +0000

Parenting Coordination is a new alternative dispute resolution process in which a qualified impartial professional assists separated or divorced parents to resolve issues pertaining to their parenting plan and to help them implement their parenting plan. This can include: identifying disputed issues; reducing misunderstandings; clarifying priorities; exploring possibilities for problem solving; developing methods of collaboration in parenting; developing a parenting plan; and aiding parties in complying with the court’s order regarding parenting issues. Parenting Coordination helps the parents avoid repeated trips to court over parenting issues.

The Parenting Coordinator is a professional trained in parenting coordination who performs three functions:

a. Education about communication and co-parenting
b. Mediation of post-divorce (post decree) parenting issue
c. Arbitration of minor parenting issues

There are many benefits to Parenting Coordination. Parenting Coordination offers a much better way of resolving parenting plan issues than returning to court. And the resolution comes much faster than waiting for a court date and then the court decision. The Parenting Coordinator educates the parents about the harm to the children of hostility between parents, mediates issues as they arise, and if the parents are unable to resolve minor issues, makes the decision.
There are some benefits offered by Parenting Coordination that mediation, therapy, and other services for families do not provide. This is due to the fact that
Parenting Coordination is a long-term success-oriented process for divorced or separated parents whose relationship continues to be hostile.
It is not: Therapy to treat an emotional problem or psychological problem. Mediation or arbitration designed to resolve issues or cases in a short timeframe.Guardian ad litem looking at the parents, their situations, the children, and so forth and making recommendations where the child is to live and who has what legal rights.

Parenting Coordination is a solution oriented process. It helps parents work together for the good of their children rather than fighting each other. Parenting Coordination provides an opportunity for parents to develop an ability parent their children in a healthy, constructive way rather than perpetuating a conflict that places their children in the parents’ war zone.

Parents who would typically benefit from Parenting Coordination are parents are having frequent disputes about issues such as the parenting schedule, exchange times and locations, extracurricular activities, education choices, and medical decisions. They may have gone back to court several times since the divorce. Some of these families may be called “high conflict” meaning continuing hostility and frequent disputes between the parents.

The goals of Parenting Coordination include:
a) Providing an alternative method for parents to communicate about child- related issues;
b) Taking children out of the middle of parental conflict.
c) Fostering creative problem solving that involves both parents in the

The Parenting Coordinator will typically meet with the parents, individually and/or jointly. The parents’ concerns will be identified, the family situation will be assessed with the aid of court orders and documents, and a course of action will be identified, including the setting of specific goals for resolution of conflicting issues. Emails and phone calls are used to assist the parents’ work toward the goals. Additional individual or joint meetings may be scheduled and other people with information may be contacted.

So how can Parenting Coordination Help?
During the parenting coordination process, an experienced and specially trained attorney or mental health professional uses skills learned over many years of education and experience to help parents:
• Manage their emotions • Communicate more effectively • Understand the impact of conflict on children • Learn about children’s developmental needs • Negotiate appropriate post-divorce or separation boundaries • Develop a sensitivity to their children’s needs • Identify mutually agreeable parenting goals • Brainstorm options to meet goals • Evaluate options to reach agreements within legal guidelines

All in all, Parenting Coordination is wonderful tool for parents who are experiencing difficulty in co parenting due to a highly adversarial divorce. A good parenting coordinator should be very effective in assisting both parents and consequently the children involved. It is highly encouraged by judges, therapists and mediators and research has shown its effectiveness and helpfulness- across the board.

NY Divorce Mediation FAQ

mrozen — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 12:39:13 +0000

1. What Is Divorce Mediation?

Divorce mediation is a process in which a neutral professional, the mediator, assists separating and divorcing couples to reach an agreement outside of Court, which is then filed with the Court and has the same validity of a litigated agreement. The process and the experience, however, are completely the opposite of litigation. The parties, with the assistance of the mediator, are in control of their decisions, rather than leaving it in the hands of the judge. There is a sense of empowerment associated with mediation, due to staying in control of decision rather than surrending them to the Court. Kids experience much less trauma as parents take decisions with the help of the mediator regarding parenting plan, custody, devision of assets and liabilities, alimony and more.

2. How Long Does Mediation Take?
Mediation is a short, goal oriented, well structured process. It takes between two and five meetings, typically, but every case is different. It is the role of the mediator to keep the parties centered around the best interest of their kids and around taking sensible financial decisons. A good mediator should be able to do that even with very adversarial cases.

3. What is the cost of divorce mediation?
The cost of divorce mediation is determined by a number of factors: do the parties have kids and what their ages are, the extent of the parties assets and liabilities and the extent of their disputes. Typically, mediation would be in the range of $1500 to $3000 for the entire process of mediation- a fraction of the cost of obtaining a litigated agreement.

4. What To Expect in Mediation?
Think of mediation as a board meeting, it sort of feels that way. You should have an agenda that you are all working around, you should see drafts on a regular basis and the mediator may ask to speak to you individually and/ or talk to both of you together. There may be some negotiations. The dynamics is not centered around past events. This is a forward looking process- you focus on decisions that need to be taken that will be in effect from the time of signing the agreement and going forward.

5. Can I Change My Mind in the Course of the Process?
Of course. Nothing is binding until you sign the agreement. It sometimes feels like parking a car- you go back and forth a little bit, until you park it right. It is ok to change your mind and go back and forth until the agreements are final and you both sign the agreement.
6. Should We Still Use Attorneys?
The choice is yours. If you wish, an attorney on your behalf will review the draft and provide their comments, which are then brought back into mediation and reconciled. The attorneys are in the role of advisors only. You will also typically pay them hourly- and not the retainer, and it should take more than 2-3 hours of their time.

7. Why Choose Mediation?
It is truly the best way to get an uncontested divorce in NY as well as in any other state. You will be saving a lot of money, agony and wasted time. You will maintain your dignity and feel empowered. You will spare your kids the trauma of an adversarial divorce and your entire agreement, since it was reached outside of Court- is strictly confidential.

Please visit www.DivorceWithoutDisaster.com for further information or call me any time at 1-800-506-6953.

New NY Divorce Law

mrozen — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 17:49:38 +0000

There have been a few new developments in New York marriage and divorce law in the past few months. These changes, including “no-fault” divorce and same-sex marriage, are discussed below.
New York New “No-Fault” Divorce Law
Before October 2010, New York recognized divorce only upon fault based grounds, although couples were able to agree to enter into a legal separation which was grounds for a divorce after one year. The fault based grounds for divorce are: 1. cruel and inhuman treatment; 2. abandonment; 3. imprisonment; or 4. adultery. If a couple wanted a divorce, and did not want to wait a year after legal separation, one of the spouses was required to prove that the other spouse had committed one of the fault based acts. However, in October 2010, New York became the last state to add the option for no-fault divorce. Now a spouse need only show that “the relationship between husband and wife has broken down irretrievably for a period of at least six months” and there is no possibility of reconciliation.
In order for a court to grant a petition for “no-fault” divorce and dissolve a marriage, all outstanding matters must be resolved between the parties prior to filing the petition. This includes issues such as child support, child custody, distribution of property and spousal maintenance.
Around the same time, other laws were enacted to assist the spouse who makes less money in the relationship (also known as the “non-monied” spouse) during divorce proceedings. One law may require the payment of counsel and experts’ fees to the non-monied spouse when the spouse incurs the costs (throughout the course of the divorce process) instead of waiting until the entire case is resolved. Also, the payment of temporary maintenance to the non-monied spouse while the divorce proceedings are pending has become much more formulaic. When dealing with maintenance issues, however, several factors are taken into consideration by the court and there is never a guarantee of any type of award. In fact, despite the adoption of a more formulaic approach, a maintenance request can always be completely denied.
As mentioned, despite the addition of a “no-fault” divorce option, a New York court will not consider such a petition until all other relevant matters have been resolved. Mediation can assist you in identifying the important issues and reaching agreements on those issues. A mediator can also help you memorialize those decisions into a written agreement to produce to the court. Through mediation you are able to show the court that everything has been resolved, and are able to do it in a faster and more cost effective way than if you were to hire separate attorneys to litigate the case.
New York New Same Sex Marriage Law
Same-sex marriage became legal in New York on July 24, 2011 under the Marriage Equality Act. A month before, on June 24, 2011, the act was passed by the New York State Legislature and signed by Governor Cuomo. The law grants same-sex married couples with various legal rights and financial benefits. Some of these legal rights and financial benefits include allowing same-sex couples who marry and live in New York State to file their state tax returns jointly, enabling married couples with lower incomes to pay less in taxes. Additionally, same-sex couples now have the right to be first in line to inherit their spouses’ assets, even if there is no will. However, since federal law declares that marriage is between a man and a woman, married same-sex couples in New York still must file their federal taxes separately. They also owe extra income taxes on health insurance benefits that opposite-sex couples do not have to pay.
Prior to the adoption of this law, the only relief provided to separating same-sex couples in New York was mediation and the separation agreements generated through the mediation process. Now, the recognition of same-sex marriage also allows for the recognition of same-sex divorce. However, if your same-sex marriage has come to an end, mediation may continue to be the best option to resolve the issues of your divorce or separation.
Contact me today at 212-457-2727 to find out how I can help you as a mediator, take the disaster aspect out of your divorce.

NY Child Support

mrozen — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 17:47:54 +0000

Child support is financial support provided by the non-custodial parent. Under New York State law, parents are responsible for supporting their child until the child is 21 years old. As long as paternity is established, any non-custodial parent can be ordered to pay child support even if the parent has no contact with the child, is not working, is on disability, is on public assistance, is in jail, or is in another state (or in some cases another country). In New York the amount of child support paid by the non-custodial parent to the custodial parent is determined by the state Child Support Standards Act.
To make a calculation of child support, first determine the non-custodial parent’s gross annual income. This includes income from any source, not just work. Next, subtract from this amount any money the non-custodial parent pays in for Medicare and Social Security taxes. These may appear as “FICA” on the parent’s W-2. Subtract any money that the non-custodial parent paid in New York City or Yonkers taxes (these may appear as “local” or “city” taxes on their W-2. Then subtract any child support the non-custodial pays pursuant to a court order for their other children. Multiply that amount by the applicable percentage to determine the amount of child support the non-custodial parent will owe each year. The applicable percentages are as follows:
• 17% for one child
• 25% for two children
• 29% for three children
• 31% for four children
• At least 35% for five or more children
There are limits that can be reached for individuals with income below the poverty level or very high income that allow for deviations from the percentages. Over and above monthly or weekly child support, the court is also able to award “add-ons” for daycare costs if the custodial parent works, educational costs for the child (with some limitations), and medical expenses (including the cost of medical insurance).
To modify a child support order after it is established, either parent would generally have to show that there has been a substantial change in circumstances. An order can also be modified without a substantial change in circumstances if, since the order was entered or last modified:
• 3 years have passed, or
• There has been a change in either parent’s gross income by 15% or more since the order was entered or modified; however, if there is a reduction in the parent’s income, this will only be considered if it was involuntary and the parent has made thorough attempts to get a job that pays according to her/her education, ability and experience.
These rules are a basic guideline for determining child support, and provide what would happen if divorcing parents used the court system to work out their issues. The best way to handle sensitive family matters, such as child support, is to go to a mediator first to negotiate your arrangements yourselves, instead of leaving these decisions up to a judge. When the decisions are drafted into a settlement agreement and filed with the court, the agreement can be approved by the court and entered into an enforceable court order. This allows you to work together to come up with a child support plan that fits your particular needs.

NY No Fault Divorce

mrozen — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 17:46:58 +0000

Up until 2010, New York recognized divorce only upon fault based grounds, although couples were able to agree to enter into a legal separation which was grounds for a divorce after one year. The fault based grounds for divorce are:
1. Cruel and inhuman treatment;
2. Abandonment;
3. Imprisonment; or
4. Adultery.
In 2010, New York became the last state to add the option for no-fault divorce. A no-fault divorce will be granted if, according to either party, the marriage has “broken down irretrievably” for a period of at least six months. “Broken down irretrievably” is not specifically defined. This is the equivalent of the “irreconcilable differences” option that is available in other states. The couple need not be separated for six months; one of the parties only needs to allege that the marriage has been completely broken down for (at least) the six months prior to filing for divorce.
It should be noted that a judgment of divorce will not be granted under this ground unless the following issues have resolved, either by the parties or the court:
1. Equitable division of marital property;
2. The payment of child support;
3. Custody and visitation of any minor children;
4. The payment or waiver of spousal support.
Mediation is an ideal process for couples who wish to work these issues out themselves, instead of allowing the court to decide the issues for them.
NY No Fault Divorce is the common ground for NY divorce used in NY divorce mediation. Contact me today at 212-457-2727 in order to schedule your free consultation meeting regarding NY divorce mediation. I offer flexible weekdays, evening and weekend appointments. I am looking forward to meeting you, and helping you go through your divorce process- without disaster.

NJ Uncontested Divorce

mrozen — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 17:44:30 +0000

Michelle Rozen (www.DivorceWithoutDisaster.com) specializes in uncontested divorce through mediation in NJ and offers all of her clients a one hour long, free of charge consultation meeting, as well as daytime, evening and weekend hours, in order to meet her clients schedules and needs. Here is some important information about uncontested divorce in NJ:
There are two types of divorces: contested or uncontested. Contested are those in which one party disputes any issue in the case. Uncontested divorces fall into two categories: 1) consent divorces- where the parties agree on all major issues or 2) default causes – where the responding party fails to appear to contest the divorce or any issue in it (either due to choice or inability to locate the responding party). This post focuses on consent divorces. (It should be noted that no matter whether the divorce is contested or uncontested, a proper ground for divorce must be presented. Additionally, unless the ground asserted is adultery, the party filing for the divorce must have been a resident of New Jersey for at least one year.)
To be granted an uncontested divorce in New Jersey the couple at issue must resolve all ancillary issues in the marriage. This includes dividing all assets such as personal property, real estate, automobiles, bank accounts, pensions, and 401-K accounts. All the debts incurred during the marriage must be divided. Examples of these debts include mortgages, credit card balances, and tax liens. The couple must decide if alimony will be paid and, if so, the amount and duration of the payments. Additionally, if children are involved, the couple must come to an agreement on these issues including where the children will live, parenting time, visitation, where the children will spend holidays and vacations, child support, and any future financial issues. When the parties to a divorce enter into a written agreement that covers all of these ancillary issues, sometimes called a “Property Settlement Agreement” or a “Marital Separation Agreement”, it becomes absolutely clear to the court that the divorce is uncontested.
When requesting an uncontested divorce a party must file a complaint for divorce and then ask the court to schedule a final hearing that both parties should attend. At their final divorce hearing, the couple presents a copy of the agreement to the judge to show that there are no issues to resolve other than entitlement to a divorce based on the asserted ground for divorce.
Mediation is an excellent process to help expedite an uncontested divorce by helping to resolve all the ancillary marriage issues that must be agreed upon. By fostering communication within the couple, a mediator can assist all parties involved with identifying and discussing all relevant issues, as well as memorializing all the decisions made in a written agreement, in a timely and efficient manner.

NY Unocntested Divorce

mrozen — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 17:42:13 +0000

An uncontested divorce occurs when (1) there are no disagreements between the couple over any financial, child custody and support, division of property, spousal support or other divorce-related issues; and (2) the party not filing for divorce either agrees to the divorce or fails to appear in the divorce action. This post focuses on divorces where the spouses agree to the divorce and on all ancillary issues in the marriage.
It should be noted that no matter whether the divorce is contested or uncontested, a proper ground for divorce must be presented. Additionally, before you can file for divorce in New York residency and grounds for divorce must be satisfied. There are four ways to satisfy the residency requirements:
1. You and your spouse must have been living in New York for a continuous period of at least two years immediately before the date you filed for divorce; or
2. You and your spouse must have been living in New York on the date you filed for divorce and a continuous period of one year immediately prior to the date you filed for divorce and one of the following:
a. The marriage ceremony was performed in New York, or
b. You lived in New York with your spouse as husband and wife; or
3. You and your spouse must have been living in New York for a continuous period of at least one year immediately before the date you file for divorce and the grounds for divorce happened in New York; or
4. You and your spouse must be residents of New York (no matter how long) on the date you file for divorce and the grounds for divorce must have happened in New York.
To be granted an uncontested divorce in New York, you and your spouse must resolve all ancillary issues in the marriage. Ancillary issues include custody of the children, visitation rights, child support, and spousal maintenance as well as an equitable division of the marital property and debts. If all issues can be resolved before the divorce is filed and you do not seek to go before a judge or have the judge make decisions for you, you can enter into a written settlement. Once an agreement has been reached on all the issues, the court has a packet of uncontested divorce forms which have to be prepared and filed with the court. Usually, when filing an “uncontested” divorce an attorney is not required to fill out the papers and neither party must appear in court. The divorce decision is based upon the papers submitted to the court, including the settlement agreement.
Even if you and your spouse are separating on good terms and agree on most of the ancillary issues, it may be beneficial to discuss the issues and settlement agreement with a trained mediator. A mediator can help to guide you through the process and ensure that all issues are addressed and considered prior to filing the divorce forms with the court. Mediation can also reduce the cost, stress and trauma of divorce- even in cases where the parties are separating on good terms.
Michelle Rozen (www.DivorceWithoutDisaster.com) specializes in uncontested divorce through mediation in NY and offers all of her clients a one hour long, free of charge consultation meeting, as well as daytime, evening and weekend hours, in order to meet her clients schedules and needs.

Is There a Legal Separation in NJ?

mrozen — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 17:39:18 +0000

A formal legal separation is not available in New Jersey. If you and your spouse do separate, there is no formal paperwork to file with the court, although the date of your separation will be noted in any subsequent divorce paperwork. It is possible, however, to negotiate the issues of support, children, and property distribution and have a formal legal agreement called a separation agreement drawn up between you and your spouse. It is important to note that the law still considers you married until a judgment for divorce is entered.
A separation agreement is a legally binding written or oral agreement between spouses that covers the period of time from when you separate until divorce. The agreement can cover any amount of time that the parties choose and outlines the terms of the couple’s separation. It generally resolves all issues relating to child custody, child support, alimony, division of property, and apportionment of debt. To be valid, a separation agreement must be in writing, signed by both parties, and notarized.
Mediation is an ideal way to collaboratively address and discuss the issues and decisions that will be memorialized in a settlement agreement.
If you are interested in a legal separation and live in NJ, there are some alternative option for you, such as a post nuptial agreement. Contact me today at 201-220-5233 in order to discuss your legal separation in NJ needs and how we can best address them.

NJ Divorce Mediation FAQs

mrozen — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 17:32:19 +0000

My name is Michelle Rozen and I am a family and divorce mediator, approved and recommended by the NJ Courts. I offer all of my clients a one hour long, free of charge consultation meeting, as well as flexible week days, weekend and evening appointments. Contact me today at 201-220-5233 to set up your free consultation meeting. Below please find some answers to common FAQs regarding divorce mediation in NJ:
What is Divorce Mediation?
Divorce mediation is a voluntary, cooperative agreement reaching process in which a specially trained mediator will help you and your partner to mutually identify and resolve all issues related to your separation and divorce, including: the division of marital property and debt; child support and spousal support; and custody issues involving your children. It is often used by divorcing couples who want to plan their futures rationally, in an atmosphere of cooperation and mutual respect.
After all issues have been resolved, all decisions made during the mediation may be drafted into a memorandum of understanding. This is a document that the mediator drafts to summarize everything that you and your partner agree upon. This can be converted into a marital settlement agreement, which is a more formal document that should be reviewed by an attorney and then may be filed in court as a basis for divorce.
How long does Divorce Mediation take?
All couples who come to divorce mediation have their own unique set of circumstances, so it is difficult to predict how long the process will take. How long the mediation will take depends upon the complexity of your situation, your schedule, and the level of agreement or disagreement that exists between the parties. On average, the process takes 6-12 hours (2-4 meetings). This is considerably less time than divorce litigation, which often takes months or even years to complete. Additionally, because mediation is a voluntary process, you can choose to stop the process at any time.
How much does Divorce Mediation cost?
The cost of divorce mediation is generally calculated by the amount of time it takes to reach an agreement. Because the time spent in mediation is often considerably less than litigation, it is an affordable alternative to hiring costly litigation attorneys to handle your case. [Not sure if you want to put any kind of specific numbers in here- let me know if you do].
Do I need an attorney?
This is your decision. During the mediation process, the mediator does not represent either party. The mediator’s role is completely impartial. Some parties elect to retain an attorney to consult with during the mediation process, while others prefer to handle everything themselves. At the end of the process, when an agreement is reached and drafted, it is strongly recommended that you consult an attorney to review the agreement and provide you with feedback before you sign the document. This will ensure that you have a full understanding of all legal rights and responsibilities involved.
What are the grounds for divorce in New Jersey?
The specific grounds upon which a divorce may be granted in New Jersey are:
1. irreconcilable differences;
2. adultery;
3. willful and continued desertion;
4. extreme cruelty;
5. separation;
6. voluntary induced addiction;
7. institutionalization for mental illness;
8. imprisonment; and
9. deviant sexual conduct

The most common no-fault basis for divorce in New Jersey is irreconcilable differences. This basis for divorce requires that irreconcilable differences have caused the breakdown of the marriage for six months with no reasonable prospect of reconciliation.

Is a legal separation available in New Jersey?
No. A formal legal separation is not available in New Jersey. If you and your spouse do separate, there is no formal paperwork to file with the court, although the date of your separation will be noted in any subsequent divorce paperwork. It is possible, however, to negotiate the issues of support, children, and property distribution and have a formal legal agreement called a separation agreement drawn up between you and your spouse while you are separated. It is important to note that the law still considers you married until a judgment for divorce is entered.

NY Divorce Mediation FAQs

mrozen — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 17:28:52 +0000

What is Divorce Mediation?
Divorce mediation is a voluntary, cooperative agreement reaching process in which a specially trained mediator will help you and your partner to mutually identify and resolve all issues related to your separation and divorce, including: the division of marital property and debt; child support and spousal support; and custody issues involving your children. It is often used by separating and divorcing couples who want to plan their futures rationally, in an atmosphere of cooperation and mutual respect.
After all issues have been resolved, all decisions made during the mediation may be drafted into a memorandum of understanding. This is a document that the mediator drafts to summarize everything that you and your partner agree upon. This can be converted into a marital settlement agreement, which is a more formal document that should be reviewed by an attorney and then may be filed in court as a basis for divorce.
How long does Divorce Mediation take?
All couples who come to divorce mediation have their own unique set of circumstances, so it is difficult to predict how long the process will take. How long the mediation will take depends upon the complexity of your situation, your schedule, and the level of agreement or disagreement that exists between the parties. On average, the process takes 6-12 hours (2-4 meetings). This is considerably less time than divorce litigation, which often takes months or even years to complete. Additionally, because mediation is a voluntary process, you can choose to stop the process at any time.
How much does Divorce Mediation cost?
The cost of divorce mediation is generally calculated by the amount of time it takes to reach an agreement. Because the time spent in mediation is often considerably less than litigation, it is an affordable alternative to hiring costly litigation attorneys to handle your case. [Not sure if you want to put any kind of specific numbers in here- let me know if you do].
Do I need an attorney?
This is your decision. During the mediation process, the mediator does not represent either party. The mediator’s role is completely impartial. Some parties elect to retain an attorney to consult with during the mediation process, while others prefer to handle everything themselves. At the end of the process, when an agreement is reached and drafted, it is strongly recommended that you consult an attorney to review the agreement and provide you with feedback before you sign the document. This will ensure that you have a full understanding of all legal rights and responsibilities involved.
What are the grounds for divorce in New York?

Up until 2010, New York recognized divorces only upon fault based criteria, although the parties were able to agree to enter into a legal separation which was grounds for divorce after one year. The fault based grounds for divorce are:
1. cruel and inhuman treatment;
2. abandonment;
3. imprisonment; or
4. adultery.
In 2010, New York adopted a new basis for divorce which effectively allows for no-fault divorce:
5. The relationship has broken down irretrievably for a period of at least six months.

Michelle Rozen is a divorce and family mediator offering divorce mediation services in NYC and in Westchester County NY. All clients are offered a one hour long, free of charge consultation meeting, as well as flexible weekday, evening and weekend appoinmtnets, in order to meet your schedule and needs. Contact me today at 212-457-2727 in order to schedule your free consultation meeting. I am looking forward to talking to you.